And that her mother left her alone to pursue it! I loved it even more when Lulu found her own passion and used the work ethic ingrained in her through her torturous violin practices, to excel at it. I absolutely loved it that her youngest daughter (Lulu), after all she and her mother went through, finally rebelled against playing violin. Does that make me less of a mother? Perhaps in Amy Chua’s eyes. Yes, I’m a western parent and don’t like to deal with the conflict. I agree pushing our kids is good, but for me, if it becomes a screaming match every day to practice, then I’m out. Children do ultimately have their limits and we must respect that.It’s just downright mean to say that to anyone, but I like the point that children have more confidence in themselves than we give them credit for.
For instance, she was okay with calling her daughter, who had put on a little weight, something like “fatty, fatty, fat girl”. Chua says Chinese parents start out believing their kids have tons of self-esteem and it isn’t as fragile as we westerners believe. Western parents worry about saying something that might hurt little Johnny’s feelings, and offer indiscriminate praise when they accomplish the mundane.It made me feel empowered to push my own kids to work hard at their activities, whatever those turn out to be. I know I bailed early on while learning to play piano and I’ve often wished my mother had pushed me to practice more. Being good at something takes work once you have put the work in and are good then it becomes fun.I do have to preface this by pointing out that BHTM is a personal memoir, and does not purport to be a parenting manual. I mean, is it really necessary to find a hotel with a piano while on a fantastic vacation, so the girls could practice 5 hours a day? Really?ĭespite her harsh Chinese parenting methods, I thought she made a couple of valid points that gave me pause to consider.
Chua is an excellent writer, often quite amusing, but also quite crazy. Those of us who hover in the middle might find some encouragement, even if it is a bit tainted by our own shame. Softer, gentler “western” parents will most likely be horrified by her parenting strategies, and may not even finish reading the book. The author, Amy Chua, believes in raising her daughters “the Chinese way” which apparently entails a lot of screaming, yelling, berating and nagging. Ever wonder why it always seems to be the Chinese kids at school who are good at Math or exceptional at playing instruments? Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother ” claims to answer that question and provide a “look inside the world” of raising two American-Chinese girls who become musical prodigies.
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